Getting Lei'd Page 5

  We stay silent for a while, just looking at each other. I am beyond embarrassed, but am determined to keep my mouth shut, so I don’t dig myself any deeper into this hole. Finally, he gestures at the soup container and plastic spoon. “Enjoy your soup,” he says simply, turning to leave.

  I feel both relieved that he didn’t call me out on my lies and humiliated that I got myself into this situation in the first place. When he stops and turns to look at me, I am convinced that he is going to shame me for my indiscretions. “You know,” he starts, and I suck in a deep breath, dreading what I know is coming, “it seems to me that imaginary man in your painting needs a sexy lady to join him in the water.” With that, he beams a dazzling, reassuring grin my way and closes the door behind him.

  After he’s gone, I plop down on the couch. He had to have known that my running of the mouth was all lies, but he had been gentleman enough not to point it out. I test the soup, and it is delicious. Gorgeous, thoughtful, kind-hearted, and a gentleman—Kai is the total package. I hope Leilani realizes how lucky she and her baby are.

  Baggy interrupts my rumination by bursting into the room and setting down a plethora of bags. “What a day,” she announces before joining me on the sofa. She sounds completely enamored as she tells me all about her adventures with Mr. Bond. Jim Bond.

  I can’t believe she is falling for his hokey fake-spy ploy. Of course, I have no room to talk. I spent the day painting and just got caught daydreaming about a man who has someone else knocked up and spends his time bartending to cover for the drug or other trafficking operation he runs behind the counter.

  We sure have chosen some winners, I think to myself while Baggy and I get ready for bed. Maybe there is something in this Hawaiian air that makes otherwise logical women make poor choices when it comes to men. Not that anyone would ever accuse Baggy of being logical, of course.

  Ruthie returns to the room much later. She giggles to herself while putting on her jammies and visiting the bathroom. I hear her take a deep, satisfied sigh before rolling over and going to sleep.

  I smile at the ceiling, glad that she and Baggy are happy. They both deserve it. This trip is turning out to be anything but boring, I decide, rolling over and wondering what new adventures tomorrow will bring.

  Chapter 14

  I wake up early again and decide to go for another ocean swim. The warm, salty water washes over me as I pump my legs and rotate my arms. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the feeling of sluicing through the water. I need to find a place where I can swim at home. Of course, doing laps in a pool won’t be nearly as luxurious as exploring the sea in Hawaii, but it beats not swimming at all.

  I put my head down (except for every fourth stroke, when I turn to take a breath), and really stretch my limbs. I am booking at a brisk pace through the water and thinking that I might be in heaven when I feel a sharp sting on my leg. The pain jolts through me, so I stop swimming and switch to an upright position to tread water.

  While I rub my fingers over my hurt calf, assessing the damage, I look toward the shore and try to determine the best way to get back to land with my now-gimpy leg. Just then, I feel a sharp pain on my shoulder. I gasp before turning to grab the newly injured area. Floating in the water behind me is a translucent pink blob. I feel a little panicky as I circle my hands in the water, trying to propel myself away from the stinging bastard.

  When I flail out of its range, I feel yet another sting on the back of my neck. My eyes bulge as I turn from side to side, only to realize that I am surrounded by dozens of the gooey creatures and their trailing tentacles. I can barely breathe, but still manage to let out a frightened sound as I try to figure out how to escape this predicament.

  A small wave of saltwater splashes into my face as I feel the burn of another sting on my ankle. All I can think about is getting back to land, but each way I turn is blocked. It appears that I have somehow managed to swim into a swarm of jellyfish, and I don’t know how to get out. Every direction I attempt to move brings me closer to another sting. My whole body is ringing, so I straighten my body and make myself as still as possible while remaining afloat, in an attempt to let the umbrella-shaped jellies pass me by.

  Another tentacle grazes my ear, and I let out a pained cry. Just then a strong arm scoops under my arms. The tangled jellyfish tentacles are surrounding us, so I know my rescuer is being stung as well, but he never flinches as he moves us quickly and efficiently through the water toward the shore. I allow my tired body to go limp in his strong hold while he propels us to safety.

  Once we make it to shallow water, I expect him to set me down to walk, but instead, he continues carrying me. I turn to look at his face for the first time and am only nominally surprised to see Kai. Normally, I would insist on walking, but it’s nice to feel safe in his arms after the scare I just had in the water. A quick look down confirms that the stings are already forming nasty, red welts. He continues carrying me up the beach toward a beautiful beachside home.

  Finally, he sets me down on a bench in the home’s lush garden area. “I’ll be right back,” he tells me before jogging into the house. I cringe when I see the angry, red marks slashing across his back and legs.

  While I wait for him to return, I look around. The house is large—almost mansion large—especially for being waterside. It has an open-air concept and is stunningly perfect in every way. I wonder how a hotel employee is able to afford such an amazing place. Even if he does perform numerous jobs at the resort, he can’t possibly make enough to pay for a dwelling of this magnitude. His under-the-table brown bag deals at the bar must be quite lucrative, I decide sadly.

  When Kai returns, he has a glass jar in his hands. He dips his fingers into the mixture to retrieve a large dollop, which he proceeds to smear on my shoulder. I flinch reactively, thinking that whatever this is might hurt, but quickly discover that the balm is cool and soothing to my hurt flesh. “Ah . . .” I enjoy the immediate relief. Somehow, amazingly, it has taken the pain away where Kai has applied it.

  My eyes dart to the jar, and I try to grab it from Kai’s hands. I want its quenching relief on all of my stings—NOW. He chuckles, saying, “Just relax, I’ll take care of it,” before bending down to rub a generous dose on my ankle. Again, the relief is almost instantaneous. “Where else does it hurt?” he asks me, looking deep into my eyes. I point out the spot on my ear, before turning so he can reach the welt on my neck.

  Once all of my spots have been covered with the magical goop, Kai sits down beside me and begins applying it to his own spots. A strange mixture of shame and horror course through me when I realize that he was taking care of me before tending to his own wounds. “I’m so sorry,” I tell him honestly. “I assumed you had already put some on your spots.”

  He gives a simple shake of his head, as if it is an everyday occurrence to save someone and treat her stings while ignoring your own significant pain. This time when I reach for the jar, he lets me have it. I dip my hand in before gently dabbing it on Kai’s chest and smoothing it in. I coat each of his stings with the same care and gentleness that he has shown me. When he turns to give me access to his broad shoulders and back, I am tempted to place my lips on each of the spots in an attempt to make them better with a kiss, but I refrain.

  “What is this miracle salve, anyway?” I ask him once each of his stings is coated.

  He smiles then—a truly gorgeous smile, with the slight gap in his teeth adding even more character to his face. “It’s my Nana Lana’s Super-Secret Magical Jelly.” The way his eyes light up when he speaks, I can tell that his Nana Lana is very special to him.

  “Well, it’s magical, all right. I can vouch for that. It took me from extreme pain to mild discomfort in a matter of moments.” I smile back at him, and he looks proud. “I want a gallon of this stuff to take home with me. Does it work on anything else or just stings?”

  “Well, Nana Lana thinks it cures everything.” He raises his eyebrows, making me wonder if his grandma is as crazy as
Baggy. “It is amazing stuff, though, and people swear by it to relieve everything from sunburn to dandruff to acne. We have customers come from all over to get it. We could make a fortune, if she would mass-produce it, but Nana refuses. She makes each batch by hand, saying she instills love into each jar, which is what makes it work so well.” Now I’m really wondering if he has a crazy grandma, just like I do, but I don’t say anything about it. After all, he obviously loves the woman a great deal, and it’s a completely different ball of wax when you insinuate that one of your own family members is loony versus someone else implying you have a nut job in your family.

  Kai cocks his head to the side. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen me selling it at the resort. I sell it to all of my favorite guests.” His words create extremely conflicting emotions inside me as a silent Ohhhh sounds in my head. On the one hand, I’m glad to find that he isn’t selling drugs or anything else seedy. I am distressed, though to learn that I am not one of his “favorite” customers. If I hadn’t been dumb enough to swim through a swarm of jellyfish—is it a swarm?—I probably would have never found out about the magic potion.

  Determined not to focus on the negative, I change the subject. “So, what is a group of jellyfish called? A swarm? A pack? A herd?”

  Kai laughs at my last suggestion. “Actually, I believe they are called a smack.”

  “Well, that seems appropriate.” I chuckle with him. “I sure felt like I’d been given a few hard smacks before you came along.” I turn serious. “Thank you for rescuing me.”

  “You’re quite welcome,” he tells me, and something deep inside me wonders if he might kiss me. I think my ears are ringing from the blood rushing through my head, until he tells me he’ll be right back and jogs to pick up his cell phone. “Leilani,” he answers, after looking at the display screen.

  Hearing him utter her name immediately squelches the wayward thoughts. As much as I would like to fantasize that Kai is all mine, it just isn’t in the cards. It never was, never will be. End of story. I don’t want to overhear his conversation with his pregnant lover, so I decide to explore the gorgeous grounds at his home. I’m surprised to find a circle of outdoor showers that are secluded by dense tropical foliage. I can’t stop the mental image of Kai and Leilani, wet and entwined, when I see this outdoor hydrotherapy paradise. Not wanting to think about their beautiful, writhing bodies making love under the warm spray, I quickly move along.

  I notice a pathway that has various smooth stones sticking up from the concrete, so I decide to go investigate. “I see you’ve found my reflexology path.” Kai has come up close behind me. “Try it out,” he encourages me. I set off down the walkway but quickly find that it hurts, so I jump to the side and off the path.

  Kai takes my hand and leads me back to the beginning. “You’re going too fast. Slow down and enjoy it. Slowly roll your feet through each step.” Not letting my hand go, Kai steps onto the path, leaving me no choice but to join him. This time, I follow his instructions and am amazed to find that slowly pressing my feet into the stones feels like a relaxing foot massage. I close my eyes as we traverse the path in super-slow motion. By the end, my entire body is zinging with energy from the rock massage of the pressure points on my feet—and the hand-to-hand connection I am sharing with Kai.

  After we finish enjoying the reflexology path, I circle around to what appears to be a hot tub. “That’s an icy plunge.” Kai informs me. I stick a finger in and jerk it back, shocked to discover numbingly cold water. “You take a dip in there to rev up your circulation,” Kai tells me, and I can’t help but think that my circulation is already plenty revved when he is near. “Then you get in the hot tub.” He gestures to a large in-ground swirling infinity pool of water. “The fast temperature change gives you pins and needles in your limbs, but it’s a good tingling. Go ahead and give it a try. You’ll never feel more alive,” he promises.

  My body already feels more alive than it ever has before just by being near him, but I don’t want to embarrass myself by saying it. “I wouldn’t want to wash off my magic jelly,” I tell him, silently thinking that I can’t be so near him in a hot tub, either. My fantasies about him don’t need any more fuel added to the fire.

  “If you’re sure, then I’ll take you back to the resort,” he tells me before adding, “I’m already late for work, anyway.”

  I can feel a panic attack starting over his words. “I’m so sorry,” I gasp. “Let’s get going.”

  “It was so worth it,” he reassures me. “Besides, what are they going to do, fire me?” He chuckles, but I can’t help thinking that he is taking this much too lightly. Is this some kind of stereotypical “island attitude” about time and work? I would feel horrible if he lost his job for saving my life, even though from the looks of his house, he evidently doesn’t need the money. He clearly wants to work, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.

  Kai walks me to a white Jeep and opens the passenger-side door before indicating he’ll be right back and running into the house. When he returns, he has on shorts and a polo shirt and is carrying a large brown bag. I look down at myself and suddenly feel silly in my dark blue racer-back Speedo swimsuit. As if he had anticipated my discomfort, he tosses me a T-shirt from the bag before placing the bag in the backseat. I catch a whiff of his scent as I lower the T-shirt over my head. I’ll be keeping this, I think to myself as we take off in the topless Jeep.

  Once we park at the resort, he retrieves the bag from the backseat and hands me three jars of magic jelly. “How much do I owe you?” I ask him.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he responds.

  “No, I pay my own way,” I inform him in my no-uncertain-terms tone.

  “Okay then, I’d like a kiss.” He leans toward me, smiling.

  There is nothing I’d rather do than press my lips against Kai’s, but an image of Leilani flashes into my mind. “I can’t,” I tell him before turning and running toward my room.

  Chapter 15

  When I return to the room, Baggy and Ruthie are awake and beginning to move. I give them each a jar of the magic jelly with a brief explanation of the morning’s events. Baggy is slightly bummed to learn that Kai’s brown-bag dealings at the bar are not something seedier, but her eyes light up when she tells Ruthie and I about her latest scheme.

  She confides to us that she and Howie are going on a top-secret sting operation to catch a jewelry thief at the Marriott a few hotels down the beach. “Howie?” Ruthie and I ask in unison, looking at each other to see if we had missed something important.

  “Oh, Howard is Jim’s real name,” Baggy tells us, as if that explains everything. When we continue to look perplexed, she adds, “He only uses Jim—his code name—when he is undercover on super-secret spy operations.” I am tempted to tell her that the very fact that he has shared all of this information with her proves that he is not a real spy, but I don’t want to rain on her parade. She seems almost giddy with happiness, so I suppose a little pretend danger won’t hurt anything.

  Ruthie tells us that she is going to try snorkeling today. For someone who normally only dips her toes in the water to bathe, she sure is turning into quite a fish. I’m pretty sure it’s only because of her latest conquest (whose wardrobe seems to consist solely of shorty wetsuits and long board swim shorts), but I decide not to call her out on it.

  I inform them that again I intend to spend the day painting, and they both head out, excited to begin their next adventure in paradise. I pull out my easel, admire my waterfall rendition for a moment before I set it aside, and stare at a blank canvas. I’d like to replicate the emotion of being pulled into Kai’s strong embrace as he saved me from the smack of jellyfish, but I can’t paint a muscular arm wrapped around a damsel in distress. I had enough trouble attempting to explain away the waterfall scene. If Kai saw a water rescue scene, he would think I am some kind of deranged stalker.

  In the end, I decide to create a super close-up impression of a jellyfish. As is usually the case
, I lose myself in the pleasure of painting and have no idea how much time has passed, other than the fact that my tummy is growling angrily. I stand back to look at the finished piece and am pleased. I have captured the iridescent essence of the animal and somehow found a way to express the beauty in a creature that I now fully despise. Feeling rather pleased with my emerging talent, I head in to shower off the paint and grime of a long day’s work.

  Jim, or Howie, or whatever we are supposed to call him, joins us for dinner. He regales us all with tall tales of his spy adventures. I wonder if he is delusional and really believes the stories he shares, or if he is just eccentric and likes to entertain. Either way, he is funny and charming, and Baggy seems to be completely taken with him. When he takes her hand and says, “Let’s go cut a rug,” Baggy giggles like a schoolgirl before following him to the dance floor.

  I sit back in my chair to enjoy watching them for a bit. Their effervescence for life is apparent as they flounce around in each other’s arms. We should all be lucky enough to find someone to share that with, even if he is a little crazy. Besides, she’s more than a little crazy herself.

  Ruthie spots her crush at the bar and saunters off. It’s so odd to see her being the chaser, when she is so accustomed to being the chased.

  I sit at the table for a few minutes pondering my life and wishing there was a luau tonight. Kai drops into Baggy’s vacated chair and asks me if I’d like to take a walk along the beach. I smile and agree to go with him.

  As we walk, I can’t help but wonder if it is part of the resort employees’ jobs to help entertain the lonely, loser guests who don’t have anyone special in one of the most romantic spots on Earth. The thought dampens my spirits, and I decide to relieve Kai of his duty. “You don’t have to spend time with me,” I tell him. “I know it is part of your job to make sure the resort’s guests have fun.”